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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She must to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?