🔗 Share this article Navigating my Desire for Casual Encounters While Seeking a Committed Partnership Being a gay man in my late 40s, I’ve spent numerous, largely pleasurable years engaging in casual sex with other men from my teenage years. In my 30s, I had a committed partnership that lasted four years, but it never fully satisfied me, in that I felt neither loved nor intimately fulfilled. The fact is that I have always craved uncommitted intimacy. Every time I begin to date any man, when the initial excitement fades, I always get the urge to have sex with new partners again. Questioning the Possibility of Exclusive Commitment I am now wondering if I’ll ever be able to maintain a monogamous relationship. I understand that numerous homosexual males have open relationships, yet when I’ve witnessed them, they appear demanding, frequently resulting in lots of pain and jealousy for everyone involved. To a large extent, I want another man to care for me while allowing me to pursue other intimacies, however I fear the psychological toll this would cause. Should I just continue to have spontaneous encounters and accept that a long-term relationship may be unattainable? I’m feeling somewhat confused. Each individual's sexual journey fluctuates. Avoid considering about what you require in partnerships or your ability to tolerate various forms of intimate connections as fixed. Your needs in your current state may well change in the future; at a certain time you might become less ambivalent and find some clarity and a comfortable path … or not. One day you could encounter a person who provides a life-changing chance for you by reflecting your desires completely … and later on you may choose that non-committal encounters suit you best. Fretting over what lies ahead and engaging in the “What if?” game is simply rooted in fear and squandering of your efforts. Try to be in the moment with your partners, and recognize the value of each person you connect with intimately an intimate bond. When and if the time is right to deepen genuine closeness with a single person, it will be clear. The psychotherapist is a American therapy professional who specialises in addressing sexual disorders.